Eva
Carter Memorial
A
memorial
to Eva Saranne Carter who died at 01:15 hrs on 27th
February 2017
aged 28.
Eva’s
home was in Benidorm which she
shared with her husband Damian. Following
her cremation service in Spain a memorial service was held in Selby
Abbey North
Yorkshire on 11th March 2017.
This service was attended by over 250 of her friends and family.
Music
played at the service:
The
two following eulogies were read in the Abbey and really speak for
themselves:
Bob
Dale
Welcome
to Selby Abbey and this memorial service for Eva.
On
behalf of Eva’s mum Lisa, her brothers Kane, Jacob and
Eddie, and Eva’s husband Damian I would like to thank you all for
coming to
today’s service.
I
must say how overwhelmed we all are to see so many people
here today. When planning this sort of event it’s impossible to know
who will
attend, looking to the far end of the Abbey I can see every seat is
filled and
for that, on behalf of the family, thank you.
Before
we begin the main eulogy I though it appropriate to
explain briefly the events that have brought us all to this place.
As
most will know Eva was diagnosed with cancer last summer.
Despite an amazing fight the battle was lost on Monday last week. Eva died
peacefully in a hospice at San
Vincente, Alicante in Spain. Damian, Lisa and I were with her at that
time.
As
is normal in that country the cremation took place quickly
and occurred on
Wednesday last week at Villajoyosa near Benidorm.
The service at the crematorium was attended
by our family and over 80 of her friends both Spanish and expats. It
gave us
great comfort knowing she had so many who loved her.
And
so to
today. We felt it was
important to hold a service here in the Abbey for all of her friends
and
family. We are also
delighted that the
lady Eva called her Spanish mum
Lisa
and her husband Dave were able to travel from Spain to be here today.
This
is of course a memorial service, and it’s those memories
which we lean on now. Fortunately we all have many memories of Eva,
perhaps
it’s her unstinting generosity or her selfless care for others? But I bet whenever she
comes to mind the
first thing you recall is that smile…
It’s
that generosity that perhaps led her to raise so much for
charity. Being totally fearless she took part in bungee jumping,
paragliding
and many other events to raise money for MABS – a Cancer charity in
Benidorm.
Lisa
and I are delighted that our good friend Chris Page has
agreed to do the eulogy today. Being neighbours Chris has known Eva
since birth
and has his own special memories of his daughter Laura and Eva growing
up
together. Let’s
share some of those moments
from Chris.
Chris
Page
Pleasure,
no! Privilege, yes!
Proud to honour "our" Eva.
From
first steps. To last orders. She always was - and will be – a
constant source
of inspiration.
The
journey Reverend Neil describes started on a Selby street, two doors
down from
us. And, without going all "Oz soap opera" on y’all, that was when
good neighbours did defo become good friends.
As
their mums chatted over copious cups of coffee, the girls began to
bond. Those
ties would become stronger than these abbey walls.
Aged
under a year apart, Eva and Laura became inseparable. So much so, I
would
regularly be asked about my daughters. Plural! And that was just the
Child
Support Agency!
As
they grew up together, childhood confidants grew closer together.
Forever
friends, sharing many memorable moments. Those recollections remain,
living
long after their untimely parting.
A
friendship, forged like family siblings, which endured throughout Eva’s
life
cruelly cut short. But with her "bessie" beside her to the sad end.
Disney
on Ice proved an annual celebration of Eva's birthday, once spilling an
entire
frozen drink ... on balding head of fella sat in front! When he angrily
turned
around, his pate patterned by red and blue sludge ... she'd disappeared
beneath
her seat, leaving me to face wrath of Slush Puppy Man. As we would come
to call
him.
Pork
Pie Guy became another key character. An open-air concert saw us marvel
at a
man continually producing savoury snacks from his knapsack like rabbits
from a
magician's hat. "Pork Pie" thereafter became an acknowledged greeting.
Cipher for shared good times, it illustrated Eva's ever-keen eye for
observational comedy.
Another
gig saw the girls blagged back stage, meeting NSYNC. Fronted by a
junior Justin
Trousersnake, sorry Timberlake. But, because they had been dressed in
matching
teddy bear logo jumpers, photographic evidence of this VIP encounter
has long
since been secreted.
Then
there was Leeds Fest that saw us, on stage backed by live band, sing
"500
miles" ... only for compere to, erm, Proclaim we'd be "bigger than
Jesus". Well, one of us was. And still is- Eva.
Forever
etched on my memory is 50th birthday bash when I asked all assembled to
please
be upstanding for "God Save The Queen". Not the national anthem.
Rather, Sex Pistols' banned anarchic anthem. Eva was first on the
floor, where
she stayed pogo-ing until party's closing track, Iggy Pop's "Lust For
Life", which could just have been written with her in mind.
That
same day she took the time and trouble to take a picture of Laura and I
in a
nearby beer garden. Several hours - and beers - later, she gave me that
treasured photographic memory, printed. Framed. Signed. Sealed.
Delivered. A
fortnight ago while in Spain I was about to remind her of that
thoughtful
gesture. But Eva beat me to it!
Serial
bridesmaids, here in the Abbey and reception venues across the area,
these
"sisters" sat alongside one another at more top tables than (pats
stomach) I've had hot dinners.
An
original one-off, Eva always had a penchant for cinematic characters.
Rocky
Horror's Columbia. Grease's Rizzo. Oliver's Nancy. And, if they ever
remade one
of her fave rom-coms, she would surely be Coyote Crazy!
Soundtrack
star Leanne Rimes will later remind us "how we laughed, how we
smiled". That remains among Eva's lasting trademarks. Ever engaging,
open
faced, brighter than any beacon.
The
family encapsulates, better than I ever could, this lasting legacy:
"Over
her very few short years, Eva touched many lives. It’s especially true
in her
case to say she will be remembered for her tenacious, million-mile an
hour
approach to life and, above all, that wonderful smile".
And,
as one Christmas jumper photo confirms, she also boasted ... "nice
baubles"!
Ever
mature, Eva's work path took an early turn
to Pennyghael elderly
mentally infirm home, where from 13 she spent weekends caring for OAPs
at an
age when most teen girls are filing their nails.
That
compassionate chosen vocation continued apace as Selby High School,
Selby
College then University of Leeds nursing studies prepared her for Leeds
General
Infirmary dream job.
Despite
considerable success and obvious potential in the world of medicine,
she
yearned for adventure. A girls' trip gave her just that, signaling
start of
Spanish chapter in Eva's book of life.
Those
times proved among her happiest, making Mediterranean friends aplenty
on the
resort's pub and club circuit, where she was welcomed behind bars as
"the
posh bird". Probably because, as her engaging smile attested, Eva still
had all her own teeth! And she didn't drink like Johnny Vegas!
Not
that she was adverse to a tipple or two, inheriting taste - from
someone! - for
fine dining and wine. A pastime she loved to practice. As her family
confirm:
"It’s amazing how easy she could find an excuse to celebrate something.
Well, anything really!"
That
"hobby" has its history at our Millgate Madhouse, ever welcome home
from home for Eva and her clan. She and Laura would regularly feast, in
their
formative years, on four course meal consisting ... cheese, crisps,
nuts and
Prosecco. Sometimes without the cheese. Or the crisps. Or the nuts!
The
Fox at Thorpe Willoughby will doubtless flow with more of same later as
toasts
are made and glasses raised to our absent friend.
Alicante
area champagne years were never finer than when she met, fell in love
with, and
then married her dearest Damian. Daring to be different, their Viva Las
Vegas
wedding was streamed live to worldwide audience, officiated by none
other than
Elvis. In one of his many beyond-the-grave guises.
So,
seamlessly segueing from hound dogs, we come to another of her
favourite
things. Pooches were so popular with Eva, roof-top terrace barbecue
invitations
specifically insisted on canine companions. As many as a dozen dogs,
mad and
otherwise, Englishmen and women, did indeed go out in the mid-day sun
to party.
Her
joie de vivre took her traveling. But with a special, specific
globe-trotting
requirement. Eva wouldn’t rock up at a far flung destination unless it
housed a
Hard Rock Café, ticking off many of the franchise's 191 outlets on
wonderful
world-wide adventures.
She
was ever proud of brothers Kane, Jacob and Eddie, all here today. Being
only
young female in the family made her extra special, with the boys
understandably
always protective toward their beloved sis. You don't mess with these
lads!
Particularly if they're in the midst of marking Eva's memory with
"Sweet
Child o' Mine" cock rock karaoke!
Bob
alluded to Eva's selfless and fearless attributes. Generous as White
Horse
measures, her altruistic nature saw Eva oft call from abroad to ask -
nay
stubbornly demand - food and drink be charged to her bank card. Credit
where
credit's quite literally due, Eva could - and would - settle a
celebratory bar
bill even if she wasn't in the same room. Or even the same country!
Now
her awareness charity - saving someone's soulmate, sister, daughter,
grandchild, mother, mate from same savage fate - continues to be
shared,
supported, smashed, as parting posthumous gift that
just keeps on
giving.
Eva
always laughed loud in the face of danger, front of the queue when our
House of
Fun staged indoor sports such as ... extreme stairs sledging,
surprisingly still to be Olympically recognised! One
such dare-devil
stunt saw a mirror smashed to smithereens. We consoled Eva with the
fact we
could always replace the mirror. But never her. How true!
Any
way how could you be angry when assembled kids all agreed they'd given
Eva
straight 9.9s for approach, take-off, execution and degree of
difficulty for
reverse twist, tuck, triple pike. Off the top bunk. Via the lampshade.
Into the
wardrobe!
Now,
America has given us many great things. Including Washington Window
gracing
this beautiful building. Uncle Sam is, however, also responsible for
the cliché "closure".
Well-meaning as it may be, it's a mealy-mouthed platitude Eva would
never
tolerate. But she would welcome some semblance of peace for Lisa,
family and
friends.
Gladness
for a life well lived. Not sadness for a life soon lost. Beers not
tears, Eva
dismissed as unnecessary even as aching inevitability approached. She
even
managed to inject humour into fondest farewells when, seeing her
beloved best
friend spark out in the bed alongside her after a fainting fit, she
awoke with
a start. Removed her oxygen mask. And, breathless but bold, demanded to
know
"what's all the kerfuffle?"
Animated
into action, what followed were sacred, shared recollections of a
special
friendship that will stay with all concerned forever. And, when I told
her my
mates also sent their best, she quipped. "And so they should!" Then
and there, our Eva returned in all her mischievous, marvellous majesty,
her
teeth flashing and eyes twinkling, even as her inner light was fading.
Some
of us may draw
some comfort from a more learned man than me. Which wouldn't be
difficult!
Namely
Oxford University's esteemed Henry
Scott Holland
Death
is nothing at all. I have
only slipped away into the next room.
I
am I and you are you.
Whatever
we were to each other that
we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy
way you
always used
Wear no
forced air of solemnity
or sorrow.
Laugh
as we always laughed at the
little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play.
Smile. Think of me.
Pray
for me. Let my name be ever the
household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without the ghost
of a
shadow on it.
Life
means all that it ever meant. There
is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What
is death but a negligible
accident? Why should I be out of mind, because I am out of
sight?
I
am waiting for you. For an interval.
Somewhere near. Just around the corner.
All is well.
I'm
loathe to
contradict a revered Professor of Divinity but, well, all is
not well. Nor
will it ever be. Entirely. But,
awash with these heart-warming
thoughts, we can in time try to come to terms with this immense,
immeasurable
loss and learn to live with Eva's lasting legacy of love, touching
tenderly so
many our lives. Which is, after all, what she would want, magnanimous
and
munificent, benevolent and bountiful, in equal measure.
And
if Eva had
"only slipped away into the next room," we'd all know about it! We'd
hear her laughing. Singing, calling a spade a ... shovel! Busting some
shapes -
while I bust some furniture and fittings - at another fabulous, famous
family
"do".
Another
respected
theologian
- Danny Dyer, I think - succinctly said: "It is not the years in your life ... but the life in your years ... that count".
Based
on that premise, our dear
departed Eva has lived longer than most.
How
appropriate today's service started with "You've Got A Friend". For
Eva's were legion. And long-standing. Better yet, it was not Carole
King or
James Taylor's version. She would have branded them "sad old gits".
Like me! Instead, enter The Housemartins. Fittingly, as time
spent with Eva was
always Happy Hour. Again. And again. And again. Happy Hour again.
So,
how best to sum up this free spirit who death does
not define,
nor cancer shall shape, because collective frames of reference recall
always
fun-filled times?
During her Valencia hospital stay, her mum reflected “we had so many plans that we won’t be able to fulfil now”. Eva, suggesting as ever others could still live those dreams, responded. “I know. In the words of Dr Hook, I’ll never get to hear those violins”.
Here's
hoping
there's a full string section serenading you now, girl ........
Eva’s
Legacy
Damian
has established a charity
which will fund Cervical testing for 21 to 30 year old ladies in the
Benidorm
area.
Full
details of the charity can
be found here:
